The St. Benedict home protection kit (seriously).

You’ve seen the St. Joseph home selling statue, you’ve seen the patron saint of television statue, now the ancient Roman Catholic art of submission through superstition has spawned yet another useless statue for you to put your trust in and make an idol of: The Saint Benedict home protection kit.

So, are we supposed to use it as a club? Thanks, but no thanks, I’ll continue to rely on my Glock for home protection.

Here’s the official description:

For those looking for protection from the forces of darkness and temptation, our Saint Benedict Home Protection Kit may be just what they seek. Homeowners of all denominations are invited to bring Saint Benedict, the Protector of Hearth and Home, into their lives, into their homes. In this exclusive Home Protection kit, you will find everything you need to protect your home, including step-by-step instructions for its use.

The Saint Benedict Home Protection Kit display includes 16 statues, each in individual full color gift boxes. Individual box contains one 5″ resin statue, a full color story card, two Saint Benedict Medals and a full-color tear-off Saint Benedict holy card with the Prayer to Saint Benedict, Protector of Hearth and Home on the back. — Display: 12 1/4″ W x 8 1/4″ H x 8 1/4″ D; Individual Box: 3″ W x 2″ H x 5 3/8″ D; Two 3/4″ Dia Pewter/Enamel Medals

HT: A Little Leaven

8 thoughts on “The St. Benedict home protection kit (seriously).

  1. I guess now people don’t have to use those heathen companies like ADT or Brinks Home Security to keep their homes secure anymore.


  2. If you think that’s bad go here and see that you can have St. Joseph help you sell your house!

    Customer Testimonial: “It arrived yesterday. The power of prayer is amazing. I buried the statue as soon as I received it and after no activity with my home sale, today someone came through and my agent is expecting an offer in the next few days…I may be ordering another for a friend who is also trying to sell his home. Best Regards, Eileen Nolan”

    or you can get the udget version with prayer cards – trade ‘em with your friends!


  3. Nothing surprises me. Nearby supermarkets feature a complete and bizzare assortment of ” religious candles ” (for lack of a better term.) Presumeably these are stocking stuffers.
    Saint This , Saint That , and the ever popular personal need candle. These have titles such as ” Law Stay Away , Need Job , Love ( Double Attraction ! ) , House Blessing — all purpose, you know — , and for that friend or co-worker who just gets on your nerves there’s the ” Suffer This Evil ” candle. These are 50 cents more and have on the candles one side four blanks for four names of your choosing and on the other side you fill in the accident , illness, plague or catastrophe of your choice. Match up the downfall with the appropriate “downfallee”, and there you go !

    Hmmmm………. I wonder if the St. Benedict kit will trump a bad case of Bubonic Plague ?



  4. Now that sounds like voodoo! Amazing that people will fall for that but then the general run of people are not saved. The Bible says “wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction and many there are many who go in by it. Because narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it.” (Matt. 7:13-14)


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