The Pilgrim
Coram Deo
Bill
unworthy1
brother Michael
Stupid. Lazy. Uninvolved. Ignorant. Timid. Detached. Neurotic. Weak. Powerless. Unreliable. Ineffectual. Irresponsible.
What do all these words have in common? They are all descriptions of how men and fathers are depicted in today’s Western culture.
Television is a great example of the problem. Whether it’s Archie Bunker from All in the Family, Al Bundy from Married With Children, George Castanza from Seinfeld, Peter Griffin from Family Guy, or Homer Simpson from The Simpsons, men are often portrayed as fools and inferior to not only their wives, but their own children as well. And this isn’t even considering the latest onslaught of one-parent homes (homes absent of any father), and those normalizing homosexuality. These trends have been increasing every year and it seems to show no sign of stopping.
The problem is especially pervasive in shows geared toward children as Hollywood and the current culture is hell-bent on turning the hearts of the children away from their parents–especially their fathers.
If you still need convincing, turn on Nickelodeon or The Disney Channel and watch how men are depicted. It won’t take long for you to see what I mean. Even the commercials feed into this distortion of manhood. In many cases all authority figures are incompetent including teachers and policemen, but none are so marginalized as fathers.
Mothers are depicted as much more capable than their incompetent spouses, but even they take a back seat when it comes to the kids themselves. Watch these same channels and observe how the kids are depicted. They’re the ones in control, who are running the show, making all of life’s decisions, saving the world, and doing it all with zero or minimal input from their parents–especially that detached lump on the couch they call dad.
William Leith recently wrote an eye-opening piece in England’s Daily Mail in which he asked Why Do All My Son’s Books Tell Him All Men Are Useless? that I highly encourage you to read.
In it he writes:
A recent academic study confirmed that men – particularly fathers – are under-represented in almost all children’s books. And when they do appear, like the fathers in Gorilla and Zoo, they are often withdrawn, or obsessed with themselves, or just utterly ineffectual.
Leith continues:
Why had this never bothered me? Because it’s all around us, everywhere we look. For years, men in our stories – not just for children, but adults, too – have been losing their authority. Not just years – decades. It’s crept up on us and now it’s everywhere. Remember when movie stars were strong and decisive? That was a long time ago now: John Wayne, Gary Cooper, Errol Flynn. Then came a new, softer type – Cary Grant and James Stewart were strong, yes, but against a background of self-doubt. And then came Jack Lemmon, Dustin Hoffman, Woody Allen, Bill Murray, Kevin Spacey – neurotic, bumbling, deeply flawed anti-heroes.
Now I’ll readily admit that there are many, many men today who refuse to grow up (they’re known as Rejuveniles), but the situation begs the question: Is our culture’s entertainment merely reflecting the problem of the modern American male, or are these men actually the product of their culture’s entertainment?
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See related post: How to make your husband a false convert and cause your kids to reject the Christian faith
This is why I despised “Tool Time” and enjoyed the original Cosby show; it’s why I labored to disciple men for the last 14 years – so many have been deceived by the world and think the TV dads are their heroes. The Word of God is our guide – not the world.
And have you ever noticed that, if the couple is divorced, and the mother has custody, that the father has to do something heroic in order to just see his son?
If you want to see a movie where a father is portrayed in a positive light, I would recommend “The Pursuit of Happyness” with Will Smith. It is a (true) story about a man who had absolutely nothing, took an unpaid internship with Dean Witter, did not take a handout from the government, loved and cherished his son and did anything he had to in order to provide for him (while the mother was simply looking out for her own interests), and…well, I won’t give out any spoilers for those who haven’t seen it yet. But yeah, that’s about the only positive portrayal of a father I can think of offhand.
I am , God willing, going to be a father in a little over a month.
Now, a generation ago many, not all, fathers could be correclty labelled things lke, “Lazy and Uninvolved.”,
Let’s be honest here. The chauvinistic male abounded. Men were not actively involved. Today they are more so.
I agree about the media pushing their agenda. (I am talking from an Australian viewpoint, perhaps just a little different-not by much!). If you are watching these shows dont be surprised.
As for men losing their authority well. Well that blame lays square on the shoulders of the men. The feminists definately have played a part too.
But note also in “Married with Children”, everyone is depicted equally foolish — are Peggy and Kelly any better than Al and Bud? Nope. They’re all the same funny losers and treated equally badly. It’s at least just.
But I mostly agree with the author of this post. The phenomenon is called feminism.
I guess there are some banal reasons why the gender roles have developed that way. Man are simply no longer the sole wage earners in the families and women much better educated and hence, economically independent. In earlier times this was just not the case. Women were mostly financially dependent on their husbands and without any social network in case of divorce or judicial separation. I think this development is really no wonder and a logical consequence of economic progress.
Note also that many a marriage celebrated in the 1950′s was on solely economic purposes and convenience marriages. They were not primarily motivated by emotions and personal claims to “get one’s money worth”as today. Society was hardly contemplating the man-vesus-women- role battles as today. That doesn’t mean that man and women were really “different” than today!
My daughter saw through the male bashing hype when she was 13, and stopped watching shows that glorified children being in control. She thinks those shows are stupid and do not represent men fairly. I’m a divorced mom (10 yrs), and will not allow male, parent or authority bashing in my home. If men treated women on tv like women are allowed to treat men, there would be an uproar in this country. Men, speak up – we need to hear your voice~
With the situation my wife and I are in, fighting the gov’t for the privilege to be our children’s parents, we have found that my manhood, fatherhood and masculinity have been constantly put down. Mommy gets all the pictures, gifts and adoration from the children and their temporary caregivers, I receive nothing. Mother’s day was celebrated with enthusiasm (and it should be), Father’s day was ignored. Throughout the web, Father’s are being neutered at an alarming rate, not literally but it might as well be. The real Father, the man, the Daddy who directs, disciplines and loves his children is an endangered species for sure. What the future holds for the male “species” is scary, and I don’t even want to think about it.