Would we expect the same thing out of…

cool-pastor

Scene 1: You meet your child’s math teacher for a conference.

Teacher: Hey dude, what’s up? Whoooaaaa! Hey, is it just me or do you have the munchies too?
You: What on earth are you talking about? And why are you acting like you’re high or something?
Teacher: I am high, yo! I’m high on math! I’ve been tokin’ the algebra! It’s called “drunken math glory!” Wanna try it?
You: No, I don’t!!! In fact, that’s what I want to talk to you about! Is this why my son is acting so goofy when I try to get him to do his math homework? And why he says he doesn’t learn anything in class?
Teacher: You know it, yo! Who needs to learn about math from a book? When all you have to do is put it to your lips and toke it? Yeah!
You: How can you call yourself a teacher if you don’t teach him?
Teacher: Whoa, now, don’t get all Pharisaical on me! I don’t like to put a big, fancy label like “teacher” on myself. Haha, yeah! That would make it sound like I know more than these little guys–you don’t want me thinking that do ya? Nah! I’m just showing little junior here how to have a closer relationship with math! Yo!

———————————————–

Scene 2: Your child is in the hospital. You are frantic, and you want to know how he’s doing.

You: Doctor, is my child OK?
Doctor: Hmm? What? Oh, I don’t know.
You: What do you mean you don’t know? Is he going to be OK?
Doctor: Well, I don’t really want to pass judgment on him. After all, who’s to say what’s “OK” and what’s not “OK”?
You: Doctor, I DEMAND you tell me the truth about my son!
Doctor: Hey, hey, hey, whoa, whoa, whoa. Let’s not start throwing around words like “truth” here, okay? I mean, who can tell what the truth really is?
You: Are you crazy? Didn’t you learn anything in medical school? How can you call yourself a doctor?
Doctor: Oh, medical school is so full of “black-and-white.” I’d rather just guess at what’s going on with your child. besides, I don’t like to call myself a “doctor.” It just sounds so arrogant–you know, it makes it sound like I know more than other people.

———————————————–

Scene 3: You are on a jet airliner 35,000 feet above ground.

You: Excuse me, stewardess, why are we encountering so much turbulence?
Flight attendant: Are you judging?
You: Excuse me?
Flight attendant: Who are you to say what turbulence is?
You: Don’t you feel how the plane is shaking and jerking? It feels like the plane is going to break up!
Flight attendant: You know, I really resent your Pharisaical tone! Just because you may think the plane is shaking, doesn’t mean everybody else does! Besides, maybe they like the plane to be shaking and jerking. Did you ever think about that? No! You’re too busy putting turbulence in a box! Why do you want to ruin it for the other passengers? Besides, this plane won’t “break up.” It’s united by love!
You (Looking back, seeing the tail section fall off): Miss!! I think we’re in trouble!
Pilot (over loudspeaker): Hello, this is your Airplane Flyer-man speakin’! I don’t like to call myself “Pilot” or “Captain” because it makes it sound like I’m different than you. Anyway, I know things don’t look quite like they should, but that’s OK. We’ll just try and imagine how they would have done things in the early days of flight, and come up with something–after taking a consensus with you all. Anyway, in the unlikely event that we might have a harder-than-expcted landing–I’m not going to to so far as to say we WILL crash because, after all, that would be rather harsh and judgmental, and a word like “crash” might make you feel uncomfortable. Anyway, while we try to correct this slight glitch, sit back, relax, and watch this video about how to have better sex!

——————————————————————————————————————

How would we react in such a situation? We would be outraged, we would demand answers, we would expect the people in charge to know what they are talking about. Yet look at the church in America today. Filled with “life coaches” and “youth fun-games-and-pizza-party-planners pastors.” Staffed by men (and women–that’s a whole ‘nother subject) who don’t care enough about the truth to preach the truth. Some of the most popular “church” speakers are idiotic goofballs who won’t take the time to study the word of God, so they make up a bunch of crap about “tokin’ the ghost.”

Making people feel good about their sin, refusing to call the truth “the truth.” With their pews filled with people who need to hear–and, most frighteningly, may never have heard–the gospel, they would rather speak a bunch of idle words, and give people warm fuzzy feelings as they skip blissfully toward the gates of Hell. We wouldn’t put up with this in temporal, physical matters. Why should we put up with it when it comes to matters that concern our eternal soul?

Call me a Pharisee. Accuse me of “putting God in a box.” Go ahead. I will simply nod my head and say, “Thank you.”

12 thoughts on “Would we expect the same thing out of…

  1. Fools like foolish entertainment. So they search out foolish teachers and foolish leaders. The Bible tells what happens when fools join up with their own kind.

    “… a companion of fools shall be destroyed.” Proverbs 13:20

  2. Best post I have read all day.(it’s only 9:21am) But still, I love this site and that post proves makes the case perfectly.

  3. “Some of the most popular “church” speakers are idiotic goofballs who won’t take the time to study the word of God, so they make up a bunch of crap about “tokin’ the ghost.”

    I agree completely with your sentiment. Having spent all week growling about our coming election and the prospect of having a woman head our state again, I can even appreciate your “whole ‘nother post” quip, but I had to do a re-read of the above sentence.

    Did you maybe miss the post above yours? The one that speaks about teachers who feel the need to be…crass? Or is calling something “crap” only crass in my part of the world?

    The last is acr genuine question: I recognize that there are differing levels of acceptability for ‘Christian swearing’. A friend who spent time out of Australia was surprised when his exclamation of “D*mn!” silenced a room of people, yet found that the Christians were quite free with other expressions we would gasp at here.

  4. Wow, this post pulled up possibly related posts and one of them was about a fighter licking his foe’s blood. I hope these new relevant “edgy” preachers don’t read that one. “Come to New Community Seeker Church: Communion Brawl at 10:00 a.m.!”

  5. Beyond,

    I would put the word ‘crap’ on a par with ‘dung.’ I would say it’s one of those words that would be up to an individual to consider “crass,” but it definitely is not “cussing.” By the same token I wouldn’t use it in preaching or in Bible study. (Of course, I could always use the excuse that the KJV translators rendered a certain Hebrew phrase as “any who pisseth against the wall” [1st Samuel 25:22]).

    MA,

    Just think if the blood had made an outline of the Virgin Mary. The Magisterium would indeed break out the wafers and start knocking years off of Purgatory!

  6. Fourpointer, I could be just tired, jaded and cynical – that’s possible; but if a word is not suitable to use while preaching, and it is suitable to use at other times, what is that about, exactly?

    Is not the same God listening all the time? Will we not give an account for all words regardless of our physical position at the time of speaking them? What (other than the tradition of men) makes a church building more holy than this forum, or your house, or the soccer field?

    I don’t know, feel free to pull me up if you think I am being contentious – it’s not my intention, and perhaps it is different because you are thinking of the individual issue you addressed in this article (the sentiments of which I applaud) while I am reading this article smack up against the last one I read on this same site, being about the Holiness of God?

    How can you divide the “being Holy” (as in, be holy as I am holy) into language you can use at church, and language you can use everywhere else?

  7. How can you divide the “being Holy” (as in, be holy as I am holy) into language you can use at church, and language you can use everywhere else?

    In much the same way that I may post articles about something like football or the NCAA tournament–but I wouldn’t necessarily take up time talking about those things during teaching. Like I said, it’s not a “dirty” word, and I certainly do not use it for shock value, but rather to put into as forceful a way as I possibly can my disgust with these clowns without venturing into vulgarity.

    I respect that you don’t like the word, and I understand what you are getting at. But, by the same token, I do not think it is inappropriate to use such a word in a setting like this. I don’t consider it vulgar, and this setting is much diff Coarse, harsh, rough–probably. But vulgar or obscene–no.

  8. BBS,

    Not a problem. I know sometimes there is a fine line between what is acceptable language and what is not. And as much as we rail against those who see the pulpit as a place to be “hip, cool and relevant” rather than being a sacred place where God’s word is shared, I do try to stay on the right side of that line. In fact, I thank the Holy Spirit that He has, at various times (more than I care to admit), stopped my tongue from resorting to the kind of language I used to use before I got saved.

    That said, rather than brings a disagreement such as this one, I will refrain from using that word in the future here. It’s not so much my conscience I need to keep in mind, but the conscience of one who reads what is written at this site.

  9. I truly appreciated reading the brief exchange in this thread between FP and BBS, and it reminded me of one of my favorite Spurgeon quotes. Please allow me to illustrate.

    Now it must be remembered that Spurgeon preached in Victorian England when sensibilities and proper decorum were very much fussed about, and while Spurgeon’s ministry was marked by sober, somber and profound preaching he nonetheless had a bright and rapier wit and that wit would often shine through from the pulpit, bringing moments of levity, and even ribald humor accompanied by *gasp* waves of laughter from the congregation! Scandalous!

    Of course this inevitably brought about grumblings and complaints from Spurgeon’s contemporary clergymen, and sometimes even from his regular congregants and visitors. Reportedly after one such sermon Spurgeon was censured by a concerned and proper Victorian lady for his levity from behind the pulpit to which the inestimable Prince of Preachers quickly and wryly replied: “If only you knew how much I hold back, you would commend me. This preacher thinks it less a crime to cause a momentary laughter than a half-hour of profound slumber.”

    Grace and peace to you.

    In Christ,
    CD

  10. Fourpointer, I appreciate your attitude of grace in this matter. While we don’t necessarily agree, this is true Christian love, yes? to deny our liberty for the sake of the brethren.

    I heartily thank you for, and admire, your willingness to do so in this matter.

    Kindly,
    Beyondbluestockings.

    CD, I confess to having used the first half of Spurgeon’s quote myself, on occasion, in defense of my sometimes inability to know when to speak and when to hush. My husband has rejoined with, “Funny does not necessarily equate to license”.

    Of course, though he is right, some opportunities are too beautiful to resist! ;)

    Thanks for sharing.
    BB

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